To the Oklahoma Highway Patrolman:

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To the Oklahoma Highway Patrolman:

December 30, 2008 by Michael K.

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Remember me? Probably not, since I’m sure there were thousands of guys driving across your state yesterday. Let me help.

Red Honda CRV? 78 mph? No?

I was the guy with the 4-year-old in the back seat saying I was going to jail. Still no?

My wife was there too – we were the ones trying to suspend the DVD player in mid-air because we bought the “TruTech” brand instead of the “Sony.” It evidently skips whenever you breathe on it. Remember us? Good.

I want to thank you for looking at our car, packed so full that it needed a pair of pants with an elastic waistband, noticing our Tennessee license plate, seeing our 2 kids under 5, and cutting us a break. Thanks for the warning; I know you could have given us (er, me) a ticket.

Maybe you had mercy because of the kids. Or the car. Or the DVD player showing a fragmented version of “Wall-E.” Maybe you knew we were driving a thousand miles. Or maybe, since you drive across your state everyday, you know that it is a barren wasteland of nothing except potholes and rumble strips right in the middle of the lane (my apologies to the Okie readers). But whatever the reason, thanks.

Thanks also for the great teaching moment where my boy had the pleasure of seeing that “… Daddy gets disciplined, too.”

And one more thing – you made the day of an insecure former fat kid when you estimated my weight on the warning to be 170. Little did you know that you had the power in your hands to crush my self-esteem.

So go get ‘em, HYPO – I’ll always think kindly of you.

Michael “170″ Kelley

Posted in Just for Fun | 13 Comments

13 Responses

on December 30, 2008 at 1:13 pm Pamela Ford

LOL, sorry…. not a laughing matter but I can’t help remembering my comment on the last post….

“sometimes the most profound memories happen on the drive back” or something like that…. LOL

Glad you are all home safe!

Pamela “95″ Ford!
on December 30, 2008 at 3:06 pm Amy Wright

This made me laugh for so many reasons. But the one that really hits home is the DVD player. Ours skips, too. In fact, it is so bad that we decided our 1500 mile trip out to Florida would be better without even trying to turn it on. We traveled the old fashioned way…with old (charged) cell phones and video games, haha!
And way to go “170″! Now that was worth the pull-over, eh?
on December 30, 2008 at 3:13 pm Michael K.

Totally worth it, guys. I left that moment with a smile on my face.

And Pam – Way to go on 95 – Let’s both keep it off this time.
on December 30, 2008 at 3:43 pm Jana Kelley

I will never forget the look on your face when I read aloud the warning specks that included the beautiful number of 170. Oh, what a grin. I will also forget the look on your face when I asked you if I could try for another warning so we could see what the patrolman would say about me.

Good times!
on December 30, 2008 at 3:46 pm Michael K.

Ahhh… good times. Too bad I never let you drive. Darn my control-obsession…
on December 30, 2008 at 5:26 pm TheDeeZone

I’m sure the roads in OK didn’t help the DVD player. Thump, thump, bump, that’s the sound of driving through OK.

Man you are lucky to catch a break in OK. That is the state that posts on the border speed limit strictly enforced no tolerance.
on December 31, 2008 at 2:04 am liturgicsjay

the 170 is reminding me of Jerry scratching out the 31 on his jeans and writing in a 30, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Great story. I love a good MK story.
on December 31, 2008 at 3:04 am Jason Hayes

This is some funny stuff.
on December 31, 2008 at 4:30 pm Jeff

thanks for the laughs this a.m. it sounds all too familiar. we made the trip from southeast arkansas to hobbs, nm. it’s a much different trip now that our kids are 9 and 11. we can almost drive for 3 hours without a potty break! whoohoo!
on January 2, 2009 at 4:52 pm Megs

Is it weird that i’m jealous? My last ticket was in the ATL and that jerk estimated me at 175. 175!!!!!!!!!!!
That did NOT help my night.
on January 4, 2009 at 7:17 pm Terry T

Now if I may take a slight exception with your post. It is true that many of our highways in Oklahoma need some help (read massive reconstruction) but “barren wasteland”? Now that hurts. Imagine, in a barren wasteland one tasked to deal out justice showed mercy, hhmmmm….. sounds like someone else we know (Rom 3:26). See you can find great examples of the Gospel even in a “barren” place.

Dee – this trooper did as the signs at the border say – no tolerance – but they don’t say, No Grace.

By the way, I am a native Californian who is now a transplanted “Okie”.
on January 5, 2009 at 2:45 am TheDeeZone

Terry T:

Roads in OK need help? Isn’t it more like a complete overhaul.

Yes, it doesn’t say anything about grace.
on January 5, 2009 at 2:55 am Allison

I recommend online driving school-I was a recent attendee!